Acts 7

Tonight I read Acts 7. It's a good one.

So, after Stephen is seized and charged falsely, the high priest asks him if the accusations are true. For some reason, he decided to go back to Abraham and explain I don't know how many hundreds of years of Israel's history. It's a great summary, though, and I'm just in awe of how accurately this chapter depicts so much of the Old Testament. I wonder how it was written... I mean, I don't think people in those days had copies of the Law and the Prophets just lying around to study, but Stephen (and Luke) obviously knew their Scriptures. It's just amazing to me to think about this holy book and how it all came to be over so many years and with so many authors... Nothing short of miraculous, I'd say.

Then, when Stephen is done with his history lesson, he starts criticizing his accusers and captors: "You stiff-necked people..." he begins (Acts 7:51-53). Up to that point, he probably wasn't really telling them anything they hadn't heard before, but with this they'd heard enough. "They were enraged, and they ground their teeth at him" (vs. 54). So they took him out and stoned him (vs. 57-59). And yet, Stephen seemed completely at peace, full of the Holy Spirit, gazing up into heaven at the glory of God (vs. 55-56). He even asked God not to hold their sins against them (vs. 60), which reminds me of Jesus' own plea on the cross.

From this chapter I take away two things: I wish I knew God's Word better, and I wonder how I would handle facing death for my faith. Stephen is truly a role model in both regards.

Acts 6

Two things stood out to me as I read this chapter tonight.

The Twelve decided they should choose some reputable men to take care of the widows while they themselves continued preaching the word (Acts 6:1-6). It's not like they were above waiting tables or anything, but they knew where their gifts were and wanted to be faithful in using those gifts for the glory of God. I think it's easy sometimes to consider certain ministries more "important" or at least more "glamorous," but we are all part of the same body, called to serve in whatever way God equips us. Praying that God would confirm and/or reveal to me how he's specifically prepared me for ministry, and praying that my service would please him.

Then, some men started arguing with Stephen, "but they could not withstand the wisdom and the Spirit with which he was speaking" (Acts 6:10). So what did they do? Accept that wisdom and join the body of believers? Of course not! They secretly plotted against him, seized him, and set up false witnesses against him. Why are men (and women) so stubborn sometimes? Praying that God would show me ways in which I'm stubborn, too, and change me with his word of truth.

Acts 5

(Sorry, can't keep coming up with catchy titles for posts about random thoughts as I re-read Scripture...)

Continuing in Acts, chapter 5 tonight. A few thoughts:

• In the story of Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11), their sin was not that they did not give all they received from selling their land, but rather that they lied about the amount, I guess to appear more generous and/or holy. But Peter pointed out that they did not lie to men but to God. In our lives, people we try to deceive may not always catch on as quickly as Peter did here, but we need to remember that we can never fool God. He knows our true heart and motives.
• I love Peter's answer when he's asked why they continued teaching in Jesus' name even after they were strictly forbidden to do so: "We must obey God rather than men" (Acts 5:29).
• And I love the logic Gamaliel uses to reason with the council of chief priests who wanted to kill the apostles for speaking out in truth: "If this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. You might even be found opposing God!" (Acts 5:38-39). He mentioned several other men who rose to power and gathered quite a few followers, but reminded the leaders how everyone was scattered once those men had died. So, in effect he's saying, "Why bother fighting this? Let's just leave them alone. If it's from God we can't stop it anyway, but if it's from man then it will take care of itself in time." Interesting. I wonder why some athiests today feel the need to fight so vehemently against Christianity...

Criticism Countered

Today, I continued reading in Acts, chapters 3 and 4. Two things stood out to me:

In chapter 3, Peter heals a lame man, then begins speaking to the people gathered there. He talks about how, even acting out of ignorance, they helped God fulfill what the prophets foretold about Christ's suffering. Then he says, "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord . . ." (Acts 3:19-20, ESV). Refreshing comes from the presence of the Lord. How often I forget that and how naturally I turn to countless other gods seeking refreshment! And then in verse 26 he says, "God, having raised up his servant, sent him to you first, to bless you by turning every one of you from your wickedness" (italics mine). Non-believers criticize Christianity's limitations and laws, but here I'm reminded that God blesses us by freeing us from our own wickedness. In His power I am, for the first time, free to choose NOT to sin. Oh, but why don't I utilize that power more often to choose good rather than evil, holiness rather than sin!

And then in chapter 4, Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, begins preaching again: ". . . there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12). Again, Christianity is criticized for being exclusive and intolerant, and yet Peter boldly proclaims the only way to salvation. He knows what is true, and he will not be silent. In fact, he says, "we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard" (Acts 4:20). The believers there that day prayed, too, for continued boldness in proclaiming truth (vs. 4:29). Why am I so different from those early believers? Why is it so easy for me to remain silent about all I've seen and heard? Today, I echo that prayer for boldness. How can I possibly keep quiet with all my God has done for me?

Chance?

Today I decided to begin reading Acts again. Not sure why, just sat down and began reading there. But I wanted to be a little more deliberate in reading, so I chose a different translation than I'm used to - the ESV. (I find that I often just kind of skim over stuff I'm already familiar with in the NIV.)

Anyway...

Not a lot of new insight or anything, but one thing I noticed: when deciding whether Joseph (called Barsabbas) or Matthias should take Judas' place, the apostles prayed and then cast lots. I can't say I understand exactly how "casting lots" works, but I think it's kind of like flipping a coin, right? So it would perhaps appear to be luck or chance that chose Matthias, but we assume God's hand was behind it since they prayed first. Just kinda makes me wonder how much, if anything, in life is truly left to chance... I tend to think of some things as being pretty random (like a coin toss to begin a football game), just because I assume God doesn't really care how that turns out. But does he? I mean, he's big enough and omnipresent, so why couldn't he be concerned about everything all at once, from the most obviously important all the way to the seemingly trivial details of life? And then I think: He's probably interested and involved in every detail of MY life, too. Even the things that I think he wouldn't be concerned about, he probably is. And that makes me smile.

Then in chapter 2, I really like how the ESV has vs. 36: "Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified." Peter preached a pretty good sermon there, and about three thousand were saved that day! Can you imagine? To be a part of something so huge? To be there when the Spirit was so obviously in their presence? And how awesome that God used Peter in such a magnificent way so soon after he denied knowing or being with Jesus. Praise God for his forgiveness and the second chances he offers! And I wonder: How might he use me in the future? How honored I will be! I just pray I hear his calling or feel his prompting so I don't walk right past such opportunities.

Good Morning, Girls!

In January, my BFF Beth emailed all the girls from our old college Bible study, asking if we'd be interested in starting up a long-distance, email-based accountability group. We would each do our own quiet times and then email the group to let everyone know what we'd learned, or what we were thinking or praying about. Everyone agreed that it was a fabulous idea, and in fact, the answer to a prayer. In college, I think we all took for granted how easy it was to walk with God together, but in the real world, it's often hard to connect with people and share with each other the deeper things that are going on in our lives.

It's been three months now since our "Good Morning Girls" group began, and I have to say, it's been a huge blessing! Yes, it's been awesome re-connecting with some of my favorite people, but even more than that, I'm thankful for the accountability. Honestly, it had been a long time time since I'd been faithful in spending time with God each day. And sure, sometimes it still feels like a chore, a task to cross off the old to-do list, but more often than not God rewards my effort with some neat new insight from his Word or just a sweet time of prayer with my true BFF.

Sometimes I write a lot to my girls - I'm sure their eyes widen when they open my message and find a novel. But I've found that I learn the most when I write out my thoughts on what I'd read or prayed. That is when it all really sinks in and settles into my soul. Sometimes I read my emails to Derek, too, and he always tells me how I should really be writing these thoughts in my blog. Which I've been meaning to do, almost since the Good Morning Girls got started. But then, I thought, I'd have to write an introduction to explain where these random postings are coming from... and so I never got around to it. Till tonight. 'Cause Derek told me AGAIN how I really should. So there ya go! Enjoy.

The Wedding Dress Fiasco

There are a lot of other things I'd prefer to blog about, but this is what's going on with me right now, and I just need to vent a bit. Plus, people have been asking for the story, so here goes:

Derek and I got engaged shortly before I went out to work in New Jersey for the summer, so I was doing a majority of my wedding planning remotely. One of the first things I did out there, on July 11, was to visit David's Bridal. It wasn't so much fun since I had to go by myself, on a Saturday, when the store was crazy crowded. Still, I found a few things I thought could work, and that wouldn't cost too terribly much. Because we were planning a relatively informal, outdoor ceremony in a rustic location, I didn't want anything too fancy, and I didn't want a train I could trip over on the hike down to our waterfall.

One dress I liked had a halter top, with a faux wrap look, and it could be special-ordered with no train:

The other option I was considering was a bridesmaid's skirt and halter top, like this, only in white:

Still, I hesitated to make a final decision by myself out there.

When I talked to Derek about the options and showed him the pictures, he said either was fine. But he also mentioned that he had a co-worker who had been making wedding dresses for 25 years. He gave me her email address and I wrote to her a couple of days later. I sent her the pictures, and asked some questions, and also requested to see some pictures of work she'd done. She wrote back with just "That would be a simple dress to make." From Derek, I learned that it would only take her about a week, and that it would only cost about $100. I wrote her back a week-and-a-half later, since I'd heard nothing else from her in that time. In her next response, she again assured me that it would be simple to make, and she also clarified on my cost question: "The materials cost about 100 and then I dont charge much for doing. I do not have a specific price for my sewing. I normally ask give me what you think it is worth." Unfortunately, she said, she didn't have any pictures since those were on another computer of hers that had crashed.

At any rate, she was so confident that Derek trusted her, and I trusted him, so on July 28, I agreed to have her make the dress. Derek and I were both thinking we'd give her another $1oo on top of the cost of materials, for a grand total of $200. Not bad! Yep, it looked like our plan for a small, simple, cheap wedding might actually be possible.

O.k., fast forward. After I came back from New Jersey, Derek and I met with this woman at a Dunkin' Donuts near their office. She looked me over and said that I looked exactly like my pictures. She wrote down my clothes sizes, but when I asked her if she needed to take my measurements, she assured me it wasn't necessary. She also said she had material already, with which she had planned to make a wedding dress for her daughter, though her daughter had decided to just buy one instead.

A couple of weeks later, Derek informed me that she had started my dress, and was really excited about it. The first week in October, I drove up to Columbus for my first fitting, which we did in the handicap stall in the women's restroom there at Chase. She was pleased with how well it fit, and said something like, "See? And you were worried that I didn't take your measurements. I know what I'm doing; I've been doing this for 25 years!" I, on the other hand, wasn't quite so confident, because it was just really hard to tell how it was actually going to turn out. The skirt was long, because she hadn't yet pulled up the fabric like in the second picture above. And there was no zipper, though I suspected it was going to be a little tight. The top was unfinished, still with frayed edges from where she'd cut the fabric. It was too short, though, I thought, though she assured me it was fine. And the back of the top, which was going to be laced up, didn't quite connect. Based on all of these things, she was planning to add a little fabric to make the skirt fit a little more comfortable and add some more on the bottom of the top and at the back. When we came back from the bathroom, Derek asked excitedly what I thought, but all I could say was, "I don't know, it'll probably be fine." But again, it was just so far from finished that I didn't really know how it would look.

After that, I was doing some shopping in Columbus, waiting for Derek to get off work. I found some beads at Michael's that I thought she could use, along with the pearls she'd already been planning on adding. I couldn't find a hair comb I liked, so I thought about making one for myself, but she said she could make it for me, with a veil. I didn't really want a veil, but she was so excited about it that I said o.k. I figured I could always take the veil part off and just use the comb if I wanted to. At Michael's I also saw a satin wrap thing which I considered buying when I saw how cold it was supposed to be on our wedding weekend. But I asked her if she had extra fabric, thinking it would be really easy for her to whip up a rectangular wrap as well. With all these additions and requests, Derek and I decided we'd give her $300 instead of the $200 we were originally planning on. Still, not a bad deal.

Anyway, she kept working, and she asked me to drive back up to Columbus the week before the wedding to pick it up and try it on again. Then she said wasn't going to be finished by Monday or Tuesday when I planned to drive up there, so she agreed to meet us on Thursday on our way to the park where we were going to be married. We met in the parking lot of a gas station, and she said I didn't need to try it on again. She opened up the side of the bag to show me a few things, but it was really hard to get an idea of what was going on in there. Still, trusting her, we wrote her a check for $300 and took the dress to our cabin. On the way, I had a terrible feeling that something wasn't right. The quality of what I'd seen worried me, though again, I didn't really know what was going on with it. I started crying a bit, but made myself calm down. "Who know?" I thought. "Maybe it'll be just fine. I won't worry about it until I can get there and see it on."

Well, unfortunately, that was only the beginning of the tears that would come that night. I put the skirt on, which was still a little tight, even though she'd sewn on a triangular piece of fabric near the zipper. It was also very long, so that I couldn't even walk around the room in it without tripping all over myself. When I looked closer, I saw that she'd added a piece of fabric about a foot wide to the bottom of the skirt as well. She must have done that before pulling up the tufts around the skirt, though, because the bottom edge was very uneven, as were the pulled up pieces in places. The top was equally bad, with it's additional fabric pieces on the bottom and in the back. She'd also sewn on a ribbon with some beading around the collar that just looked very juvenile. And the straps looked like she'd thrown them on at the last minute since they didn't line up at all. AND the back was supposed to be laced up with another very cheap-looking ribbon. I couldn't even really get that part on right, and as I tried, the ribbon began fraying when the scotch tape on the ends came off. Yeah.

I took off the dress, bawling. Derek asked what was wrong, and I told him. He made me put it back on and tried, kindly, to tell me it wouldn't be that bad. But I knew better. He promised me it would be o.k., and said we'd go into Columbus the next day to find me a new dress. I called my parents to explain the situation, and they agreed to meet us at David's Bridal on their way down to the park. (Incidentally, we were supposed to be taking our formal wedding pictures that day, the day before the wedding, but because the forecast was looking quite ominous we rescheduled it for Monday morning, after the wedding. Good thing, too, since I wouldn't have had a dress to wear!)

We walked into David's Bridal shortly after they opened on Friday, October 16. Here was the conversation that took place with the lady who approached us there:

Me: I need a dress.
Her: What kind of dress? Wedding? Bridesmaid?
Me: A wedding dress.
Her: Oh, congratulations!
Me: Thanks. Um, I need it today. Can we do that?
Her: Um... Yeah. We can do that.
Me: Good. 'Cause I need it today. Is that really possible?
Her: Um... Sure. It is. We have a large selection right here in the store...
Me: And if it has a train, I would need it bustled. Today.
Her: Well, that might be a little more difficult, but we should be able to do that.

I proceeded to explain the situation, and we started looking through the dresses on the racks. We found some that looked promising, maybe 5 or 6 styles, and I started trying them on, which was actually really fun! It was just like the movies, my parents said, where I'd come out of the dressing room and stand on the pedestal and spin around and my dad would take pictures. When Derek saw the dresses at David's Bridal, he was in shock at the difference between them and the dress his co-worker had made. There really was just no comparison.

Anyway, we soon had the decision narrowed down to 2 dresses. One was a halter top style like I'd wanted, though it had a train that would have had to be bustled. That was going to cost an extra $100 or so with the rush fee and all. The other was strapless and had no train. It was simple, but felt good. It also would need no alterations, a big plus with our limited time frame. We tried both on with various wraps, and I ended up choosing the second dress with a fun little furry wrap thing, which my parents agreed to buy for me since it was going to be so cold. The dress was on sale for $250, $50 less than what we paid Derek's co-worker! The wrap thing was another $100, and I also bought a fancy hair comb for maybe $60. The whole time, though, I'm trying not to think about the money TOO much, and I'm hoping that we'd be getting at least a portion of our money back from Derek's co-worker.

The rest of the day was fun, though not as restful as we'd hoped, and we didn't get any hiking in like we'd planned. But at least we got the dress situation figured out! The wedding on Saturday was beautiful, though COLD, and we just had a lot of fun.

On Tuesday, though, Derek had to go back to work. I felt terrible for him, having to talk to this woman about what had happened with the dress. She was so excited about it, and I felt bad telling her her work was crap. But it was. When she got in to work, he briefly explained our disappointment with the quality and fit of the dress, though he told her she should ask me if she wanted more information. She never called or emailed, though, and she never said anything else to him about it, or about returning our money. We didn't want to ask immediately, hoping that she would just do the right thing. After all, there was no way should couldn't have known that the quality was terrible, right? The next day, or maybe Thursday, I asked Derek to take the dress back, to see if she wanted it, since she had been so excited about it. She said she would like it, so he gave it to her. Now, for sure, we thought she'd offer at least part of our money back, since we returned the dress to her. But still no word about that.

Wanting to leave Derek out of the situation as much as possible, since he still had to work in the next cubicle over from her, I decided to email her myself. Here is the series of emails that transpired this week:

Hi C----,

So, I guess Derek has explained to you by now about the unfortunate situation with the dress. As you can imagine, I was quite upset to find that it wasn't going to work when we got to our cabin Thursday night and I tried it on. I felt terrible, too, because I know how excited you were when you gave it to me and when we talked about it earlier. Unfortunately, the quality just wasn't what I expected, and it didn't fit me well at all. (If you'd like more specifics on either point, I'd be happy to give you more information on that.)

Still, I was very lucky to be able to find another dress on such short notice, the day before our wedding, and the ceremony turned out beautifully.

I'm sorry if this has created an uncomfortable situation for you and Derek at work, too. And that's why I wanted to ask you about getting our money back, rather than asking him to talk to you about it. I understand that he returned the dress to you, but I don't think he's heard anything from you about getting any money back. I realize you probably spent a good deal of your time working on the dress, and I'm sorry for your loss in that regard, but I also don't think we should have to pay for a dress that was unusable, especially since we had to go out and spend another $300+ the following day to replace the dress you made. Please let me know your thoughts on this as soon as possible, because I'd really like to just put this all behind us.

Thanks,
Jenn

Her response:

Do not know about the quality. Dress was made according to pattern. There was no piece that was cut short or anything the place you are talking about would have been where the dress would have been brought up. Instead you wanted 3 rows and that is what you got. For the top samething. You wanted updates and they were done to your specs including the extra material. Do not know what the problem was until brought in and. All that was said you were upset. Also there is a spot on the dress that was not there. As for money. No refund. I spent a lot of time on this and I have been upset. You have never had something made special so you would not know. It is my decision not to talk with Derek. Move on

I tried again, as politely as possible:

C-----,

Regarding the quality of the dress, I don't know what pattern you're referring to, since I didn't know if you were even working from a pattern or not. And I wasn't talking about the parts where it was brought up with the beading; I'm mostly referring to the bottom of the skirt where you added about a foot of fabric, I guess because you thought it would have been too short otherwise, though in reality that made it much too long so that I couldn't even walk without tripping over it. Also the triangle of fabric you added around the zipper, (without which it wouldn't have fit), and the extra inch or two you just sewed onto the bottom of the halter top... These "updates" weren't changes to the original design we discussed, but rather "corrections" that would have been unnecessary had you taken my measurements in the beginning, which I asked you about on several occasions, and you said was unnecessary.

I realize now that I never should have paid you without seeing and trying on the dress, especially considering that you only asked me to pay "what I thought it was worth." At any rate, since you refuse to return any of the money, could you kindly return the dress - MY dress - to Derek then?

I'm not really sure why you're upset by this, although I at least apologized to you for any inconvenience it caused. Yet you made no attempt to apologize to me. Think about how I felt, having to go out the day before my wedding to try to find a suitable dress. That caused a HUGE amount of stress on my part, on Derek's part, and on the part of my family and friends who heard about the situation. I really didn't need that, the day before my wedding, when I had plenty of other details to worry about.

Thanks,
Jenn

No reponse.

So I emailed again two days later:

Never heard back from you after my last email, so I thought I'd try again. So, when and how are you going to return the dress to me? Please respond as soon as possible. As you probably know, Derek's last day in Columbus is tomorrow, so unless you want to pay to mail it to me, it would make the most sense for you to just give it to him there.

Thank you,
Jenn

Her response:

Jenn

I am sorry to tell you this. You will not be getting the dress or money back. Derek asked me if I wanted the dress back cause you did not want. I told him sure. He brought in and put on the desk. Nothing was said. So let this be known no more emails.

Naturally, I couldn't know what she meant by "no more emails," whether she didn't want any more from me, or whether she wouldn't be replying any more via email. I considered calling her instead, but honestly, I'm scared of this woman! She might yell at me. And I can keep my cool really well in an email, but I'm not so sure how well I'd do with that over the phone. So I tried one last time:

C-----,

Yes, Derek asked if you wanted the dress back, as a courtesy to you, assuming you would do the right thing and return our money. But since you refused to return any money, I would like the dress, which I paid for, returned to me, since it is rightfully mine.

Thank you,
Jenn

But that was yesterday, and I have yet to receive a reply. What's more, today is Derek's last day at the job in Columbus, and since she didn't bring the dress today either, I guess we're out of luck.

I have this thing about justice. This woman screwed us over, big time, and was super rude to boot. So I want her to pay for her wrongdoing! I'm downright ANGRY, and I don't get angry easily. I don't like it. I was seriously considering taking her to small claims court, too, but without the dress or any pictures of it, (yes, I realize now how stupidly we acted in this whole situation,) I really don't think there's anything we can do. Which just burns me up.

I know people are not inherently good: the Bible is very clear about that. But I do tend to trust people and assume the best. In some cases, however, that can you into trouble. So there you go, that's the whole story. And the beautiful dress I ended up with, which should have been very reasonably priced, ended up costing us twice as much because of the money we lost to this woman. Still, I'm going to try to forget all of that, and just remember the fun, excitement, and beauty of our wedding day:

Auto Woes

Just before I went to Jersey, I got my oil changed with a “buy one, get one free” deal. Since I drove a LOT this summer, I knew I should have gotten another oil change while I was out there, but I was trying to make it till I got back for my free one. Last week, I finally looked at the mileage and noticed that I was two or three thousand miles overdue for the oil change… Oops! So I was hoping that that was the cause of the smell I noticed a couple days ago. So I decided to just go ahead and get my oil changed here in Columbus, even though it wouldn’t be free, and see if that helped anything.

Unfortunately… after I got the oil change, I still smelled it. And then I could tell that it was coming from the rear, passenger-side wheel. But since I had an appointment with our wedding photographer, I drove on it anyway, an hour down to Chillicothe. Then I stopped at the shop when I got back into town. I took it to the Valvoline Express Care near where Derek lives, on his recommendation. I was very nervous as I waited for them to look at it, wondering why I’d brought my car to an oil change place for a brake or tire issue of some sort. But they took great care of me! They took off the rear tires and found that the passenger-side caliper was stuck. And the brake pad was basically gone. And the rotor was ruined from the heat of all the rubbing. So they got the parts and all stayed late to replace those things, for $421.66.

Unfortunately… the tire still wasn’t spinning freely as it should have once all of that was done. They checked a couple of other things and concluded that the master cylinder needed to be replaced as well. Of course, by this time, they’d already been “closed” for an hour and couldn’t get the part right then anyway. So they ordered it, and it was supposed to be delivered the next morning, this morning, at 7:30 a.m. The owner of the shop drove me back to Derek’s place (with a gun in the back of the car, by the way,) and I was planning to have Derek drop me back off here this morning on his way to work, which he did. The main brake specialist mechanic guy also agreed to come in for a few hours on his day off to put in the new master cylinder, which he now has. For another $240.19.

Unfortunately… the tire was still only spinning at about 80% of what it should. They kept scratching their heads as to why, when they found out some pin things on the new caliper were slightly longer than the old ones, which was causing the tension. Anyway, that was an easy fix.

Unfortunately… they could still hear some sort of noise coming from that tire when they test drove it. I couldn’t hear it over the constant noise of my roof rack, but they’re apparently trained to hear these sorts of things. Apparently, the noise is the bearing, because apparently the grease in there is broken down from all the heat before and now isn’t lubricating the bearing as it should. Or something like that. So apparently it needs to be replaced too. Not right away – I might have a couple weeks or months even before the wheel finally falls off – but it will need to be taken care of relatively soon. For another $250 or so.

Yep, so there ya go. Almost $1000 later, I should be good as new. Of course, I really could have used that money for wedding stuff, or to pay off some debt, or to buy a new water heater which I still haven’t done… Yeah. Ah, well. Such is life! Grrr…

Princeton Summer, Take 2

O.k., guess I’m long overdue for an update, eh?

Well, I’ve been out in Princeton for five weeks now, and I’ve actually been enjoying my time here a lot more this summer! See, I already knew a few people from last year, and my living situation is much more comfortable this time around. My first week out, I jumped right back into my workout routine from last summer: swimming with the masters’ swim team at the gym on Monday, track workout with the Princeton Intervals group on Tuesday, then I met up with my triathlete friend Tara on Wednesday for a ride and swim, and we ran together on Thursday as well… Good times, and just what I needed to get ready for the three races I had over my first four weeks out here (race updates coming soon). But now that those are done, I’m feeling a little lost and aimless. Of course, this is the first weekend I haven’t had something going on, so I guess it makes sense that I’m feeling a little lonely.

In other news... Derek came out a couple weeks ago for a visit, and we had a fantastic weekend. He lived in New Jersey his first three years in the Navy, so we drove up to where he was stationed and he showed me around. We took a nice, romantic stroll along the beach and had a delicious dinner in Atlantic Highlands. We both talked about how nice New Jersey can be and we agreed that we wouldn’t mind living here.

Of course, if you’ll recall, last summer when I came out for this internship with ETS, part of my purpose was to see if I could live here, if I wanted to apply for a full-time position with them or not. And I concluded that I just couldn’t do it, couldn’t move so far away from all my friends and family for a job, even if it was a job I’d love. And yet, now, thinking about moving out here with Derek, having a few more friends and realizing just how perfect the job would be for me, I think I could do it. I think I’d like it, in fact. Too bad when I came I was told that they actually didn’t have any positions open right now, for the first time in a long time. Hmm. But then something changed and all of a sudden they did need someone, and soon. They sent out a notice to all the interns, asking for resumes. I sent mine in and was soon scheduled for a two-hour screening test. Well, I guess I passed, because I’m now supposed to have two different interviews this coming week! Derek has started applying for jobs out here, too, and we’re both praying fervently for God’s direction in all of this.

If Derek found a good job in Cincinnati, that’d be ideal: I could keep doing my online scoring thing, we could just live in my condo, we already know the area and have good friends and a good church there… But it would also be kind of nice to start our life together in a new place, to choose a place to live together, to find a church together, etc., etc. So I’m really torn; I think I could really be happy either way. Of course, if we do end up moving, I’ll be busy planning a wedding, trying to sell my place, and getting ready for a move and a new job all at once, kind of like my brother just did! So anyway, guess I’m just putting all this out there to fill you all in on what’s been going on with us this summer, and to ask for your prayers about everything. If God wants us in New Jersey, I want him to make it painfully obvious to us.

The Gaps

Well, if you've been following my blog at all, (though why would you, really, since I rarely write anymore?) you may have some lingering questions about this Derek fellow. So now I'm finally making time to fill in some of the gaps. (I do want to point out, though, that what follows is also the very reason why I haven't had much time to blog lately. See? Not my fault!)

On April 5, I wrote: "I think I'm really gonna like dating. ;-)" See, that was the day after my first date with Derek. Obviously, I had a pretty good time! He drove down from Columbus and took me to Newport on the Levee for dinner, a movie, and ice cream. It was all strangely comfortable. We'd only been emailing a short time, and had had only one phone conversation before this get-together - granted, it was a 4-hour call, but still! - and yet I felt completely at ease with him. At the same time, I was hesitant to assume it was anything more than that: just a good first date. Plus, I was still just looking forward to meeting and dating a lot of different guys, to learn more about myself and what I needed and wanted in my next relationship. So, I continued emailing several other guys I'd been chatting with from e-harmony, which resulted in a painfully long and boring phone call with another would-be suitor, as well as a very awkward Starbucks meeting with a third bachelor. After those two incidents, I completely changed my mind about dating: not so much fun! I realized not only that I'm not the "date-around" type, but also that the encounter with Derek was indeed unique and special. As we continued talking on the phone, im-ing, texting, and hanging out over the next few weeks, we got to know each other more deeply and began to feel things neither of us had experienced in a long time.

O.k., fast forward to May 2 and 3, Flying Pig weekend. Derek was wonderful, so patient and encouraging as I got ready for my first marathon. On Saturday, I called him my "boyfriend" for the first time, since I had finally decided to give up the idea of dating other people. After all, why would I force myself to go out and meet other random guys when all I really wanted to do each day was talk to Derek or spend time with Derek? So Sunday after the race, we went to his friend's wedding as as officially exclusive couple.

Keep in mind, all this time, Derek is pursuing me intently. He gave me a beaded necklace made by his co-worker on our second date. He brought me flowers several times and even had flowers delivered one day. He affirmed me in all the ways I needed. He encouraged me to pursue God more and he prayed with me. He wrote me sweet notes and poured out his heart to me. He struggled at times to tell me what he was really feeling because it was so intense, and so soon, and because I was so hesitant to give in to the feelings that were starting to take over me as well. But he loved me, in word and in deed, and it wasn't long before I knew that I loved him too.

We talked about marriage early on, partly because we've both been there before and know a little better than others perhaps what we need and want and don't want. But we were also going through a sermon series on marriage in my small group, which was enlightening in several ways I'll explain more in a future post. One of the biggest lessons I learned from that, though, was that love is so much more than a warm, fuzzy feeling; it's an action, and a choice. No matter how good a match is, how good a marriage is, there will be days when each person is irritated or frustrated with the other, and when they might not even like each other very much. But if I trusted that Derek would choose to love me even then, and if I knew that he was worth choosing to love even at those times, then that's what would make ours a strong, happy, enduring union.

I could go into lots of reasons I knew I loved him, but I already blogged about all of that. But it was really when I went off to Yosemite for my brother's wedding (blog to come on that, too...)that things really started happening. I was gone almost a week, but it seemed like much longer in certain ways. For example, no day seemed complete until I talked to Derek about everything that had happened. But even that didn't really seem good enough because I wanted to share all those experiences with him, rather than trying to describe everything for him afterwards. And actually, I found that I really couldn't enjoy the beauty of my surroundings quite as much without him next to me. Yes, I concluded then that I never wanted to travel by myself again.

He was struggling a lot in my absence as well, from what I understand, and concluded something similar: he didn't want to go through this life without me either. He picked me up from the airport on Wednesday and we went ring shopping that night, he looked again and bought something at a shop in Columbus the next day, and on Friday he drove back down to propose.

It was tricky at first because everyone was really surprised that we'd gotten engaged so quickly, but things quieted down as the news spread and settled in. Still, we said we didn't want to rush into wedding planning at the expense of preparing for the marriage, so we decided not to even set a date till September. Of course, that didn't last either, and now, thanks in part to my father's power of suggestion, we're getting married on October 17! We both always liked the idea of a fall wedding, and God worked it out to where we can do it then at the place we want in Hocking Hills, even though there was originally a scheduling conflict... Anyway, that's the plan! And here's a little preview of what it'll look like:

But most of all, I'm just looking forward to beginning the rest of our life together!