Virtual Intimacy

So I've got this new friend, Kim, who I've been chatting online with a bit lately. In fact, we've probably talked almost as much online as we have face to face since we've only met in person twice. Still, it's been cool getting to know her better through our online conversations, and I'm excited for her to come back to Cincinnati again so we can hang out some more.

What I find interesting about this whole scenario, though, is that it seems to be working, that we seem to be developing a real friendship through this virtual means. But why would that surprise me? Well, I think it's because I've been in similar situations where it was a lot more problematic. For example, I had one friend I talked to a lot on the phone, like for hours at a time, but then when we'd meet in person it just seemed weird, like suddenly the intimacy we'd developed on the phone was missing in person, if that makes sense. Then there was this other person I became "facebook friends" with after meeting once, and we IMed a lot over the course of several weeks. But again, when we met in person the next time, it was just awkward.

So this is one thing Kim and I were chatting about yesterday, this sort of "false intimacy" that seems to develop quite easily when getting to know someone through these modern modes of communication. She mentioned that there's sometimes a superficiality to such conversations, which I can definitely see, but my experience has more often been the opposite: I seem to be quite comfortable discussing topics online that I would never talk about in person with someone I only recently met. And I think this could get me into trouble, particularly when the person I'm chatting with is of the male variety. See, we have these really deep virtual conversations and I think that we're becoming really close, but then when we meet up in person, I realize that in reality we are acquaintances at best.

Problems have also arisen when I've tried to have a serious conversation online, even when it's with a good friend. For example, no matter how well I know a person, I think it's still much more likely for misunderstandings to occur when communicating online, because subtle messages or feelings often get lost without the aid of body language, facial expressions, or tone of voice. Apologies also seem to be particularly difficult because I never seem to know whether the issue has been resolved. Or if I bare my soul to someone online about an especially personal topic, the next time we get together I can't help but think, "Did we really have that conversation?" and the intimacy still seems to be less than what I would expect had we simply talked face to face.

Yeah. So, conclusions? Well, it seems to me that building friendships online may be fine, but it gets a lot trickier when it's a guy-girl thing. (But that gets into a whole nother discussion about whether or not guys and girls can be "just" friends...) Also, if it's a significant conversation of any sort, it's probably safest to just do it in person.

Television (Warning: Random Thoughts...)

So I've been feeling like I'm back in China recently.

Let me explain: See, we couldn't watch T.V. in China, or rather we could, but we just couldn't understand anything so we didn't bother. Instead, we watched a lot of Friends, CSI and Alias on DVD. Can't tell you how many times I've see each episode of Friends... Anyway, a couple months ago I fasted from T.V. for a month, which was fine, easy even. So much so that I'm not even sure when the fast ended because I never really started to watch it again. So then I figured, why pay for even the cheap-o $10 cable when I'm not using it? So I cancelled my service. Now, I get nothing. Not even your basic, local channels... nothing. You'd think that'd be great, that I'd get so much more done because I don't have that distraction anymore. And yet, it seems I'm more distracted now because of the vastness of this beast we call the internet. Before, I'd go to bed at about 11:30 because there was nothing else good on, (since I only had your basic, local channels,) but now I'm usually online till midnight, or 1:00, or 2:00... It's bad. And yet, not even as relaxing as just sitting back to watch a show on T.V.

So then last night, I got back from a really good workout, exhausted, and I really just wanted to watch an hour of T.V. before hitting the sack. But alas, I couldn't. Then I remembered that you can now watch T.V. online! Excited at the possibility, I opened up my web browser and started looking around for an episode of CSI. But I guess I'm not very tech-savvy, 'cause I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to go about finding a show to watch. Sure, I googled something like "watch TV online free" and found lots of websites offering something - news or sports channels, short clips from shows, etc. - but not what I was looking for. The only place I actually found where I could maybe watch an episode, tv-video.net, wouldn't actually play it. Don't know what's up with that...

Anyway, all this to say that I almost broke out the Friends DVDs again. I put in a movie instead, (which I promptly fell asleep in front of,) but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out...

Written Language in the Digital Age

Emails, blogs, IMs, text messages... These new forms of communication have become the standard in our digital age and are undoubtedly more convenient than their precursors in many ways. And yet I can't help feeling like we're losing the art of written language as we become more reliant on these modern technologies. Maybe I'm too traditional, but I still prefer to read things with "proper" grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc., and I must admit that I judge people based on their writing skills. Poor grammar is the most offensive, followed by misspelling, and lastly punctuation (or lack thereof). If, however, you take the time to do these things well, I will respect you that much more. I should also confess that I always proofread even the most casual emails I send, and still feel rather uncomfortable IMing without capitalizing or punctuating. (Is that a word?) But don't get me wrong: I'm still a linguist rather than a grammarian. So go ahead and end a sentence with a preposition!

(And now I'm reading and rereading this post, wondering what errors people are going to point out... That's fine, feel free.)

Why I Blog

When I told one friend that I started this blog, she asked about the purpose of such public musings. Apparently, one blog she had visited was simply describing mundane events of the author's days, something she was not very excited to read about. But I've become quite engrossed by certain friends' blogs, checking in frequently to discover the latest topic up for discussion and to read all of the questions and comments that ensued. My hope is that my own blog will become more like the latter.

So I've been thinking about the purpose for my embarking on this blogging journey, and here's what I've come up with:

1. Blogging is a useful tool for learning more about and keeping in touch with friends.
2. Writing helps me process my own thoughts and feelings and learn more about myself.
3. We all have a deep-seated longing to be known and understood; I am no exception.
4. I hope to receive feedback about the issues I address, whether personal or more global. So please, leave your comments!

Jenny-come-lately

Welcome to This Adventure Called my Life! So, why now, you ask? Well, let's see...

I first heard about blogging three years ago from a guy in my master's program who was researching the use of technology in Chinese classrooms. But I still had no idea what a blog was. In fact, I never really "got it" until recently. And it all started with facebook. When I first got into the facebook phenomenon, I found myself thinking about what I should change my status update to while I was out doing something cool. Then, after discovering the joys of keeping in touch with (or at least keeping track of) friends via facebook, I also started reading several friends' blogs. Lately, I've been thinking of all sorts of things I'd like to write about, but until now have had no outlet to do that. So here I am! Don't know how this is all going to go, but I'll definitely keep you "posted!"