Marathoning

Well, it's just about here: race weekend. That's right, this Sunday, I'll be running my first (and last?) marathon, the Flying Pig. I've been training for it since January, and I was feeling pretty well prepared after making it through our 20-mile run a month ago. Then began the taper... Although, for me it was more than a taper really. I took some time off from running because my feet were hurting pretty bad, and because of a backpacking trip. The next run I did was an 8-miler, and it was rough. It was just sort of like my body had forgotten how to run! Now I'm worried, with only 2 more very short runs before the race. I'm sure I'll make it through, because I know sheer determination can carry me when I've got nothing left in me, but I'm expecting it to be slower and more painful than I'd originally planned. We'll see, though! (From the link above you can see the course map and other details, and even track my progress during the race if you're so inclined; my number is 3559.)

So, by now you all know that I'm pretty active: always training for something, or at least on the go from one activity to another. Which is fun! But I'm not so good at resting... And I've been thinking about this a bit lately, particularly as it pertains to my spiritual life. I love how the Bible describes the Christian walk as a race or a fight: it's not at all the passive thing we often allow it to become. BUT, I think we also have to actively pursue quiet times with our Father. It may seem a contradiction, but I know for me it's true: if I don't intentionally set aside time to quiet my mind and just be still with my God, to simply enjoy his presence or listen for his voice, I'll quickly fill my every moment doing something else instead. And even though those things are usually very good things - either good for me physically or emotionally, or even serving God - they can never replace simply being with him.

This life is not a sprint; it's a marathon. And if there's one thing I've been learning through all my training, it's that the beginning matters very little. What's more important is keeping a consistent pace and finishing strong. To be honest, I'm not even sure why I'm attempting a marathon since I don't really like running, but for some reason I got it in my mind that I should do one, and so here I am. But just as I now have this vision of crossing that finish line and receiving my medal to get me through, I know that I need a similar focus to sustain and inspire me spiritually as well. And we see a picture of that in Hebrews 12:1-3:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus... Yes. And I'm so thankful for the encouragement I've been receiving recently from an amazing new friend who challenges my priorities and steers me back on course toward the finish line that I know is really most important. :-)

Personal Reminder

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." -1 Tim. 4:8

Going Through the Motions

Matthew West's The Motions

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"

Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

Yep. I wrote once about regret and how I try to take every opportunity that comes my way so that I'll have nothing to regret. I have an exciting and active life, partially as a result of this I think, but I'm realizing that regret can come just as easily from not savoring quiet times as from missing certain adventures. When it's all said and done, the life I lead on this earth will only be a speck on the timeline of eternity. So how effectively am I using my time here to get ready for all that lies ahead?

I'm tired of just going through the motions. I miss the passion that once burned in my heart for God. I wonder how different my life would look if I really gave Him everything. I pray today that He would bring me back and take me all the way.

Frustrated

O.k., so I know that we all struggle with certain issues, right? Well, I've just been feeling particularly frustrated with myself lately and came back to these verses again:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. . . . I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. . . . So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! . . . Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 7:15-8:2

It's one of my favorite and least favorite passages in the Bible: favorite because I realize that I'm not alone in my sin-struggles; least favorite because even though it ends well, I can just feel the tension as I read it, like I'm physically being pulled in two different directions. It makes me feel a little hopeless... Hmm. But if I read it more carefully, to the end, I remember that there is relief, rescue, freedom in Christ! And it's not referring to the freedom to go on sinning, but rather that through Christ we actually have the freedom to choose NOT to sin when we're confronted with it! That's some powerful stuff. I just wish I remembered to tap into that power more consistently...

That Which Costs Me Nothing

I must confess that I've been rather distracted recently. Maybe it's my new, fun, single friends; maybe it's the longer, warmer summer days; maybe it's the fact that my accountability partner was MIA for awhile... But for whatever reason, my God-time has definitely been lacking of late. So, in an attempt to get back on track, I pulled out an old book this week, a classic I read in college called Lady in Waiting. The first chapter, Lady of Reckless Abandonment, talks about finding fulfillment in God alone and using your time of singleness to really develop that relationship. Good stuff.

But the one thing that really stood out to me was a particular verse, 2 Samuel 24:24. Before this, David is told to build an altar to the Lord on Araunah's threshing floor. When he tries to buy the threshing floor, however, Araunah offers to simply give it to him instead, along with oxen for the burnt offering, tools, etc. "But the king [David] replied to Araunah, 'No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.' So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen..." This passage reminds me of the story of the poor widow giving everything she had in the temple (Luke 21:1-4). Jesus praised her, saying, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."

Convicting. Not so much about money, but about time. When I offer up to Jesus the last few minutes of my day, when there's nothing to watch on T.V. and no more websites to distract myself with, when I'm already half asleep... that costs me nothing. And it's worth nothing. If He is my top priority, as I say that He is, it's high time I start making decisions that reflect that.