Derek and I got engaged shortly before I went out to work in New Jersey for the summer, so I was doing a majority of my wedding planning remotely. One of the first things I did out there, on July 11, was to visit David's Bridal. It wasn't so much fun since I had to go by myself, on a Saturday, when the store was crazy crowded. Still, I found a few things I thought could work, and that wouldn't cost too terribly much. Because we were planning a relatively informal, outdoor ceremony in a rustic location, I didn't want anything too fancy, and I didn't want a train I could trip over on the hike down to our waterfall.
One dress I liked had a halter top, with a faux wrap look, and it could be special-ordered with no train:
The other option I was considering was a bridesmaid's skirt and halter top, like this, only in white:
Still, I hesitated to make a final decision by myself out there.
When I talked to Derek about the options and showed him the pictures, he said either was fine. But he also mentioned that he had a co-worker who had been making wedding dresses for 25 years. He gave me her email address and I wrote to her a couple of days later. I sent her the pictures, and asked some questions, and also requested to see some pictures of work she'd done. She wrote back with just "That would be a simple dress to make." From Derek, I learned that it would only take her about a week, and that it would only cost about $100. I wrote her back a week-and-a-half later, since I'd heard nothing else from her in that time. In her next response, she again assured me that it would be simple to make, and she also clarified on my cost question: "The materials cost about 100 and then I dont charge much for doing. I do not have a specific price for my sewing. I normally ask give me what you think it is worth." Unfortunately, she said, she didn't have any pictures since those were on another computer of hers that had crashed.
At any rate, she was so confident that Derek trusted her, and I trusted him, so on July 28, I agreed to have her make the dress. Derek and I were both thinking we'd give her another $1oo on top of the cost of materials, for a grand total of $200. Not bad! Yep, it looked like our plan for a small, simple, cheap wedding might actually be possible.
O.k., fast forward. After I came back from New Jersey, Derek and I met with this woman at a Dunkin' Donuts near their office. She looked me over and said that I looked exactly like my pictures. She wrote down my clothes sizes, but when I asked her if she needed to take my measurements, she assured me it wasn't necessary. She also said she had material already, with which she had planned to make a wedding dress for her daughter, though her daughter had decided to just buy one instead.
A couple of weeks later, Derek informed me that she had started my dress, and was really excited about it. The first week in October, I drove up to Columbus for my first fitting, which we did in the handicap stall in the women's restroom there at Chase. She was pleased with how well it fit, and said something like, "See? And you were worried that I didn't take your measurements. I know what I'm doing; I've been doing this for 25 years!" I, on the other hand, wasn't quite so confident, because it was just really hard to tell how it was actually going to turn out. The skirt was long, because she hadn't yet pulled up the fabric like in the second picture above. And there was no zipper, though I suspected it was going to be a little tight. The top was unfinished, still with frayed edges from where she'd cut the fabric. It was too short, though, I thought, though she assured me it was fine. And the back of the top, which was going to be laced up, didn't quite connect. Based on all of these things, she was planning to add a little fabric to make the skirt fit a little more comfortable and add some more on the bottom of the top and at the back. When we came back from the bathroom, Derek asked excitedly what I thought, but all I could say was, "I don't know, it'll probably be fine." But again, it was just so far from finished that I didn't really know how it would look.
After that, I was doing some shopping in Columbus, waiting for Derek to get off work. I found some beads at Michael's that I thought she could use, along with the pearls she'd already been planning on adding. I couldn't find a hair comb I liked, so I thought about making one for myself, but she said she could make it for me, with a veil. I didn't really want a veil, but she was so excited about it that I said o.k. I figured I could always take the veil part off and just use the comb if I wanted to. At Michael's I also saw a satin wrap thing which I considered buying when I saw how cold it was supposed to be on our wedding weekend. But I asked her if she had extra fabric, thinking it would be really easy for her to whip up a rectangular wrap as well. With all these additions and requests, Derek and I decided we'd give her $300 instead of the $200 we were originally planning on. Still, not a bad deal.
Anyway, she kept working, and she asked me to drive back up to Columbus the week before the wedding to pick it up and try it on again. Then she said wasn't going to be finished by Monday or Tuesday when I planned to drive up there, so she agreed to meet us on Thursday on our way to the park where we were going to be married. We met in the parking lot of a gas station, and she said I didn't need to try it on again. She opened up the side of the bag to show me a few things, but it was really hard to get an idea of what was going on in there. Still, trusting her, we wrote her a check for $300 and took the dress to our cabin. On the way, I had a terrible feeling that something wasn't right. The quality of what I'd seen worried me, though again, I didn't really know what was going on with it. I started crying a bit, but made myself calm down. "Who know?" I thought. "Maybe it'll be just fine. I won't worry about it until I can get there and see it on."
Well, unfortunately, that was only the beginning of the tears that would come that night. I put the skirt on, which was still a little tight, even though she'd sewn on a triangular piece of fabric near the zipper. It was also very long, so that I couldn't even walk around the room in it without tripping all over myself. When I looked closer, I saw that she'd added a piece of fabric about a foot wide to the bottom of the skirt as well. She must have done that before pulling up the tufts around the skirt, though, because the bottom edge was very uneven, as were the pulled up pieces in places. The top was equally bad, with it's additional fabric pieces on the bottom and in the back. She'd also sewn on a ribbon with some beading around the collar that just looked very juvenile. And the straps looked like she'd thrown them on at the last minute since they didn't line up at all. AND the back was supposed to be laced up with another very cheap-looking ribbon. I couldn't even really get that part on right, and as I tried, the ribbon began fraying when the scotch tape on the ends came off. Yeah.
I took off the dress, bawling. Derek asked what was wrong, and I told him. He made me put it back on and tried, kindly, to tell me it wouldn't be that bad. But I knew better. He promised me it would be o.k., and said we'd go into Columbus the next day to find me a new dress. I called my parents to explain the situation, and they agreed to meet us at David's Bridal on their way down to the park. (Incidentally, we were supposed to be taking our formal wedding pictures that day, the day before the wedding, but because the forecast was looking quite ominous we rescheduled it for Monday morning, after the wedding. Good thing, too, since I wouldn't have had a dress to wear!)
We walked into David's Bridal shortly after they opened on Friday, October 16. Here was the conversation that took place with the lady who approached us there:
Me: I need a dress.
Her: What kind of dress? Wedding? Bridesmaid?
Me: A wedding dress.
Her: Oh, congratulations!
Me: Thanks. Um, I need it today. Can we do that?
Her: Um... Yeah. We can do that.
Me: Good. 'Cause I need it today. Is that really possible?
Her: Um... Sure. It is. We have a large selection right here in the store...
Me: And if it has a train, I would need it bustled. Today.
Her: Well, that might be a little more difficult, but we should be able to do that.
I proceeded to explain the situation, and we started looking through the dresses on the racks. We found some that looked promising, maybe 5 or 6 styles, and I started trying them on, which was actually really fun! It was just like the movies, my parents said, where I'd come out of the dressing room and stand on the pedestal and spin around and my dad would take pictures. When Derek saw the dresses at David's Bridal, he was in shock at the difference between them and the dress his co-worker had made. There really was just no comparison.
Anyway, we soon had the decision narrowed down to 2 dresses. One was a halter top style like I'd wanted, though it had a train that would have had to be bustled. That was going to cost an extra $100 or so with the rush fee and all. The other was strapless and had no train. It was simple, but felt good. It also would need no alterations, a big plus with our limited time frame. We tried both on with various wraps, and I ended up choosing the second dress with a fun little furry wrap thing, which my parents agreed to buy for me since it was going to be so cold. The dress was on sale for $250, $50 less than what we paid Derek's co-worker! The wrap thing was another $100, and I also bought a fancy hair comb for maybe $60. The whole time, though, I'm trying not to think about the money TOO much, and I'm hoping that we'd be getting at least a portion of our money back from Derek's co-worker.
The rest of the day was fun, though not as restful as we'd hoped, and we didn't get any hiking in like we'd planned. But at least we got the dress situation figured out! The wedding on Saturday was beautiful, though COLD, and we just had a lot of fun.
On Tuesday, though, Derek had to go back to work. I felt terrible for him, having to talk to this woman about what had happened with the dress. She was so excited about it, and I felt bad telling her her work was crap. But it was. When she got in to work, he briefly explained our disappointment with the quality and fit of the dress, though he told her she should ask me if she wanted more information. She never called or emailed, though, and she never said anything else to him about it, or about returning our money. We didn't want to ask immediately, hoping that she would just do the right thing. After all, there was no way should couldn't have known that the quality was terrible, right? The next day, or maybe Thursday, I asked Derek to take the dress back, to see if she wanted it, since she had been so excited about it. She said she would like it, so he gave it to her. Now, for sure, we thought she'd offer at least part of our money back, since we returned the dress to her. But still no word about that.
Wanting to leave Derek out of the situation as much as possible, since he still had to work in the next cubicle over from her, I decided to email her myself. Here is the series of emails that transpired this week:
Hi C----,
So, I guess Derek has explained to you by now about the unfortunate situation with the dress. As you can imagine, I was quite upset to find that it wasn't going to work when we got to our cabin Thursday night and I tried it on. I felt terrible, too, because I know how excited you were when you gave it to me and when we talked about it earlier. Unfortunately, the quality just wasn't what I expected, and it didn't fit me well at all. (If you'd like more specifics on either point, I'd be happy to give you more information on that.)
Still, I was very lucky to be able to find another dress on such short notice, the day before our wedding, and the ceremony turned out beautifully.
I'm sorry if this has created an uncomfortable situation for you and Derek at work, too. And that's why I wanted to ask you about getting our money back, rather than asking him to talk to you about it. I understand that he returned the dress to you, but I don't think he's heard anything from you about getting any money back. I realize you probably spent a good deal of your time working on the dress, and I'm sorry for your loss in that regard, but I also don't think we should have to pay for a dress that was unusable, especially since we had to go out and spend another $300+ the following day to replace the dress you made. Please let me know your thoughts on this as soon as possible, because I'd really like to just put this all behind us.
Thanks,
Jenn
Her response:
Do not know about the quality. Dress was made according to pattern. There was no piece that was cut short or anything the place you are talking about would have been where the dress would have been brought up. Instead you wanted 3 rows and that is what you got. For the top samething. You wanted updates and they were done to your specs including the extra material. Do not know what the problem was until brought in and. All that was said you were upset. Also there is a spot on the dress that was not there. As for money. No refund. I spent a lot of time on this and I have been upset. You have never had something made special so you would not know. It is my decision not to talk with Derek. Move on
I tried again, as politely as possible:
C-----,
Regarding the quality of the dress, I don't know what pattern you're referring to, since I didn't know if you were even working from a pattern or not. And I wasn't talking about the parts where it was brought up with the beading; I'm mostly referring to the bottom of the skirt where you added about a foot of fabric, I guess because you thought it would have been too short otherwise, though in reality that made it much too long so that I couldn't even walk without tripping over it. Also the triangle of fabric you added around the zipper, (without which it wouldn't have fit), and the extra inch or two you just sewed onto the bottom of the halter top... These "updates" weren't changes to the original design we discussed, but rather "corrections" that would have been unnecessary had you taken my measurements in the beginning, which I asked you about on several occasions, and you said was unnecessary.
I realize now that I never should have paid you without seeing and trying on the dress, especially considering that you only asked me to pay "what I thought it was worth." At any rate, since you refuse to return any of the money, could you kindly return the dress - MY dress - to Derek then?
I'm not really sure why you're upset by this, although I at least apologized to you for any inconvenience it caused. Yet you made no attempt to apologize to me. Think about how I felt, having to go out the day before my wedding to try to find a suitable dress. That caused a HUGE amount of stress on my part, on Derek's part, and on the part of my family and friends who heard about the situation. I really didn't need that, the day before my wedding, when I had plenty of other details to worry about.
Thanks,
Jenn
No reponse.
So I emailed again two days later:
Never heard back from you after my last email, so I thought I'd try again. So, when and how are you going to return the dress to me? Please respond as soon as possible. As you probably know, Derek's last day in Columbus is tomorrow, so unless you want to pay to mail it to me, it would make the most sense for you to just give it to him there.
Thank you,
Jenn
Her response:
Jenn
I am sorry to tell you this. You will not be getting the dress or money back. Derek asked me if I wanted the dress back cause you did not want. I told him sure. He brought in and put on the desk. Nothing was said. So let this be known no more emails.
Naturally, I couldn't know what she meant by "no more emails," whether she didn't want any more from me, or whether she wouldn't be replying any more via email. I considered calling her instead, but honestly, I'm scared of this woman! She might yell at me. And I can keep my cool really well in an email, but I'm not so sure how well I'd do with that over the phone. So I tried one last time:
C-----,
Yes, Derek asked if you wanted the dress back, as a courtesy to you, assuming you would do the right thing and return our money. But since you refused to return any money, I would like the dress, which I paid for, returned to me, since it is rightfully mine.
Thank you,
Jenn
But that was yesterday, and I have yet to receive a reply. What's more, today is Derek's last day at the job in Columbus, and since she didn't bring the dress today either, I guess we're out of luck.
I have this thing about justice. This woman screwed us over, big time, and was super rude to boot. So I want her to pay for her wrongdoing! I'm downright ANGRY, and I don't get angry easily. I don't like it. I was seriously considering taking her to small claims court, too, but without the dress or any pictures of it, (yes, I realize now how stupidly we acted in this whole situation,) I really don't think there's anything we can do. Which just burns me up.
I know people are not inherently good: the Bible is very clear about that. But I do tend to trust people and assume the best. In some cases, however, that can you into trouble. So there you go, that's the whole story. And the beautiful dress I ended up with, which should have been very reasonably priced, ended up costing us twice as much because of the money we lost to this woman. Still, I'm going to try to forget all of that, and just remember the fun, excitement, and beauty of our wedding day:
